MARE publishes a monthly photolisting book of "special needs" children who are waiting for adoption. Special needs does not necessarily mean the child has any handicaps. In fact, a special needs child is under the age of 18, and falls into one or more of the following categories:

• Children who may have emotional, mental, learning, or physical impairments;
• Children who are part of a sibling group that must be place together;
• Children of minority heritage; and/or
• Children that are school-aged (over five years old) or older.

Many waiting children have had traumatic past experiences that may include physical, sexual, or emotional abuse and/or severe neglect. Others may have been born drug- or alcohol-exposed. Some have actual physical or emotional impairments that make parenting a little more difficult than usual.

To help prospective families make sense of all the "special needs" jargon they may encounter, we'll try to explain (in laymans' terms) what many of the labels and catch-phrases mean.

Attachment: Attachment is the ability of a child to form significant, emotional connections to other people. Children who have experienced abuse and neglect, even when very young, will sometimes find it difficult to form significant ties. This is known as attachment disorder. While they may be very charming, their relationship to others is superficial. Some signs of an attachment disorder may be difficulty maintaining eye contact, telling the truth, and an unresponsiveness to affection.

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD): A condition which affects a child's ability to concentrate or control impulses. This can impact school situations since they find it hard to concentrate for long periods of time. ADD seems to occur more frequently in boys than in girls. Sometimes a child has ADD coupled with hyperactivity, which is then labeled at ADHD. The prescription drug "Ritalin" is commonly used to help control this condition.

Autism: Autism affects a person's mental, social and emotional development. Children with autism are usually "within themselves." They most often will not talk, but they may use speech in unusual ways. Routines are important to them. As a parent, you will frequently be saddened because your child will not come to you for love and affection. They can be taught self-care and social skills if they have some language skills.

Cocaine Exposed: Women who use cocaine while pregnant have a significant risk of affecting their child before it is born. Many cocaine exposed children are born prematurely. After birth, these infants are often frail, over stimulated and stiff, but this resolves in most babies with the first few days of life in the absence of any other complications. Thus, exposure to cocaine is a "marker" of pre- and perinatal complications and should be followed carefully.

Development Disabilities (DD): This term is used for describing many conditions which may be mild or severe. It generally describes any physical, mental, or emotional condition which will continue to inhibit the normal progress of a child.

Dysthymic Disorder: Depressed or irritable moods that last most of the day, more days than not, for at least a year in children and adolescents. May be accompanied by poor appetite or overeating, insomnia or hypersomnia, low energy or fatigue, low self-esteem, poor concentration or difficulty making decisions, and feelings of hopelessness.

Emotionally Impaired (EI): Because of their history and/or genetics, some children display multiple emotional difficulties. This term is used primarily in schools to refer to classrooms staffed with teachers trained to work with children who have multiple emotional problems. This is called an EI classroom.

Educable Mentally Impaired (EMI): Mental impairments affect people in different ways with varying levels of severity. EMI means that a person can be educated and trained for future responsibilities. Special classrooms and programs help them gain a level of independence. Over 80% of people who have mental impairments are EMI.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAS/FAE): FAS occurs when a woman continues to abuse alcohol during pregnancy. The effects (FAE) of this may include low birth weight, learning impairments, birth defects, and mental retardation.

Learning Disabilities (LD): Some children may have difficulty learning in a regular classroom. Children with learning disabilities may be of average or above average intelligence, but they have difficulties learning, sorting, and storing information. A classroom designed for children with LD can help them reach their educational potential.

Legal Risk: A termination of parental rights decree must be obtained before a child is legally free to be adopted by another family. If a child is designated "legal risk," termination of parental rights has not occurred, or the termination is being appealed.

Oppositional Disorder: Behaviors that are at least six months in duration where a child will display at least five of the following characteristics: loss of temper, argues with adults, refusal to obey adult requests, deliberate behaviors to annoy others, blames others for his/her mistakes, touchy, easily annoyed, angry and resentful, spiteful and vindictive, swears and uses obscene language.

Poor Impulse Control: This means that a child may need to learn how to think about the consequences of what they are about to do. A child with poor impulse control may be sneaky and manipulative.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: A syndrome where a person will re-experience traumatic events along with a decreased response and avoidance of current events. A child may experience sleeping problems, nightmares, intrusive thoughts and have difficulty concentrating.

Residential Treatment: A structured, out-of-home placement for children who need help in all three major areas of their lives: family, school and help with getting along with peers. It is a 24-hour care facility with a large, professional staff that provides psychological therapy to treat many behavioral management problems. These children and their families have usually sought many ways to help to control their behavioral problems before resorting to residential treatment. The child may be in need of this setting to help him not hurt himself or others.

Sexual Abuse: Although many special needs children have been sexually abused, this is not identified in the MARE book in order to protect the child's privacy. Children who have been sexually abused sometimes have behavior problems such as eating disorders, sleeping disturbances, wetting or soiling problems, or inappropriate sexual behaviors. These children will need therapy with a qualified professional.

Tourette Syndrome: A disorder where a child will display motor tics and possible vocal tics. A tic is an involuntary, sudden, rapid and recurrent movement or vocalization. Common motor tics are eye-blinking, neck-jerking, shoulder-shrugging and facial grimacing. Common vocal tics are coughing, throat clearing, grunting, sniffing, snorting and barking.

Special thanks to the Special Needs Adoption Network of Wisconsin for some of these definitions.

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November is National Adoption Month

The month of November has been designated at National Adoption Awareness Month!

To celebrate Adoption Month in Michigan, we are inviting adoptive families to participate in a special letter-writing campaign. The theme for this year's campaign is, "Children Grow Better in Families!" The purpose of this letter is to encourage children and parents to participate in this campaign by sending letters, poems and/or pictures related to this theme to the Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE).

MARE will also be hosting a special ceremony called the "Calling Out For Those Who Wait" on Thursday, November 14th. We will be selecting some of the letters and poems sent through this campaign, and inviting the children and parents who wrote them to read at the ceremony. Regardless of whether or not you decide to participate in the campaign, all adoptive families are invited to attend the ceremony. It will be held at 12:00 noon in rooms 402-403 on the fourth floor of the Capitol building in Lansing.

November is our month to let everyone know how important adoption is, and how it can make a positive difference in the lives of everyone. Please participate in our campaign by sending your letters, poems or pictures to:

The Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange
P.O. Box 6128
Jackson, MI 49304

by Friday, October 25th. Please make sure your address and phone number are included on whatever you submit!

Please feel free to contact us at (800) 589-6273 if you have any questions.

Thank you for celebrating adoption with us!