by Nancy Jennings Berger

This article was written for and recently appeared in MARE's newsletter for agencies, Recruitment News. We feel, however, that this information is valuable to families who may be pursuing adoption of children listed in the MARE book.

In March of 2001, Kirsta (not her real name) was photolisted on MARE. She was a cute 12-year-old Caucasian female who was listed as having mild learning impairments and moderate emotional impairments. Many families were interested in Kirsta; their workers often called Mr. York, Kirsta's worker, several times, and just as often these workers would not receive return phone calls. Finally, an exasperated worker contacted the MARE office to ask for help in solving the problem.

"I called two months ago," Mrs. Belcher said, "and left several messages that I had an interested family. This family is perfect! They have two little boys, and have always wanted a girl. Kirsta's story says she likes horses, and they have two of them! I have left so many messages – I know they haven't found another family because Kirsta's still listed in the MARE book. Isn't the agency supposed to call me back within a certain time period or something, and let me know if we're an appropriate match? And how can they make a decision if they won't return my calls so I can share more information about this family?"

Several times a month the MARE staff is called upon to explain the infamous "10 day timeframe" policy with regard to placing children in the MARE book. The policy itself is straight and to-the-point, but an explanation of each element can make the policy much easier to understand.

Michigan Adoption Policy for Placement of a Child Listed on MARE explicitly states:

"An agency with an approved family available for a child listed on MARE must contact the supervising agency and request the child's adoption referral packet."

In essence, the family's worker needs to contact the child's agency, inform the child's worker that there is a studied and approved family interested in that child, and request the child's worker to provide the adoption referral packet.

Does this mean the child's worker must send the adoption referral packet to every worker who inquires about a waiting child? No it doesn't, and doing so would not only seriously violate the child's rights of confidentiality, but also give every family the message that they had been chosen as the adoptive family. The child's adoption referral packet should be sent to the worker of the one family the child's worker has determined best meets the needs of the child. If only one family inquires about a child, then the adoption referral packet must be sent to that family's worker so the adoption process can proceed.

"The supervising agency must send Form FIA-4748, Child's Adoption Referral Packet Transmittal, and required documents to the requesting agency within 10 days. The child's adoption referral packet includes:

• Order Terminating Parental Rights
• Order Committing to Agency
• Releases, if appropriate
• Birth certificate or birth verification
• Child Adoption Assessment and any addenda
• Medical information on the child and birth parents
• Name and address of the child's current foster parents
• Report on preparation of the child for adoption
• Other documentation as requested by the requesting agency"

Policy very clearly outlines what information must be provided to the family's worker, in order that the family's worker – in consultation with the family – can make an informed decision regarding proceeding with placement of the child.

What if more than one family's worker inquires about a child? This is precisely where there seems to be a great deal of confusion about who gets the child referral packet, who makes the decision to proceed with the placement, what happens to the families who weren't chosen, etc. Let's break this down, step by step, and clarify each point.

"If more than one agency has a family interested in adopting a child, and requests the child's adoption referral packet, the following procedures are used:

• The supervising agency must note the date of each request."

The first step, should multiple family's workers call and request information about an available child, is for the child's worker to note the date of the first request (by telephone, fax, email or letter) and each subsequent request thereafter.

• "Within 10 days of the date of the initial request, the supervising agency must decide which agency will receive the referral packet and send it to the agency. Form FIA 4748, Child's Adoption Referral Packet Transmittal must accompany the packet."

In order to choose the family that best meets the child's needs, the child's worker may request information from the family's worker, including a copy of the family's homestudy or Family Assessment. Ten days (calendar days, not business days, and not excluding holidays) from the first request – and using the information gathered to make an informed decision – the child's worker must choose the ONE most appropriate family. It is that family's worker who should receive the child referral packet.

• "Sharing case information must be decided between the supervising agency and the requesting agency provided the referral packet is forwarded within the 10 day timeframe."

Once the family has been chosen and the child referral packet has been forwarded to the family's worker, the family's worker and the child's worker may share more information relevant to the placement.

• "The supervising agency must inform each requesting agency when the 10 day timeframe for making a decision expires."

Once the first inquiry is received, the child's worker must inform subsequent family's workers of when the 10 day timeframe will expire and a decision will be made. If the first inquiry is received on Friday, May 4, 2001, the 10 day timeframe will expire on Monday, May 14, 2001. If the first inquiry is received on Friday, December 21, 2001, the 10 day timeframe will expire on Monday, December 31, 2001.

• "The supervising agency must notify each requesting agency when a decision has been made by sending each requesting agency a photocopy of the completed Form 4748, Child's Adoption Referral Packet Transmittal."

Once the 10 day timeframe has expired, and the decision as to the most appropriate family has been made, the child's worker must send to each inquiring family's worker a copy of FIA Form 4748 ("Child's Adoption Referral Packet Transmittal"). This form is attached to the information provided in the child referral packet sent to the selected family's worker

• "Upon receipt of the referral packet, the decision to adopt rests with the family and the family's worker."

Once a family's worker has received the child referral packet, it is up to the family and their worker to decide whether they want to proceed with adoption. The family and their worker have 21 calendar days (not business days, and not excluding holidays) in order to make that decision. If the family decides not to proceed with the adoption, the child's worker may go back to the families who have already inquired, and chose the next most appropriate family, and provide that family's worker with the child referral packet.

Of course, policy doesn't always answer every question or address every situation. Let's take a look at some of the questions we have received regarding this policy:

Q: I have received inquiries from six family's workers, and have gotten sufficient information from them to make an informed decision. The problem is, none of these families is really appropriate for this child. Can I wait until a better family comes along, or do I have to choose one of these families?

A: According to policy and Henry Hofstra, Adoption Services Specialist with the Family Independence Agency, you must choose one of the families that inquired during the 10 day timeframe. "The child's worker can always voice their concerns to the family's worker," says Mr. Hofstra "The process is designed to allow for good decisions to be made, and for information to be shared between workers." It is up to the family and their worker to make the final decision about whether or not to proceed with an adoption – not the child's worker.

Q: Only one family's worker contacted me. I waited the full 10 days, and no one else inquired about the child. Do I really need to go with this family, even if their homestudy indicates to me this isn't an appropriate child for their family?

A: Yes. You must go with the one studied and approved family. Again, as the child's worker, you may voice whatever concerns you may have to the family's worker, but it is up to the family and their worker to decide whether they want to proceed with an adoption.

Q: I have concerns about the process. It seems to me that I, as the child's worker, should be able to wait until the best possible family comes along – not just "settle" for whomever contacts me within a certain period of time. Why can't I just wait until I find the perfect family?

A: First, children's workers and family's workers should be able to trust each other and work together. Children's workers should be able to trust that family's workers' professional judgment, in that they are not going to encourage their families to take a child they aren't prepared for or able to parent. Children's workers should also share any and all information they have about a child, in order to be sure the family knows the possible problem areas and allow the family and their worker to make an informed decision. And second, no one is perfect - you could be waiting forever for that "perfect" family.

Mr. York, Kirsta's worker, was doing just that – waiting for the "perfect" family. When we spoke with him, we realized he wasn't aware of the 10 day timeframe. He had had concerns about the types of families who had inquired, as well – Kirsta had a history of acting out against younger children, and most of the interested families had younger children in the home. Mr. York felt that when the "right" family came along, he would do whatever he could to make the placement happen.

We explained to Mr. York the need to adhere to the 10 day policy, and asked him to trust the family's worker's professional judgment when it came to making the best decisions. He agreed to do so, and said he'd let us know how the situation turned out.

Three weeks later we received a phone call from Mrs. Belcher, the worker who had initially brought this situation to our attention. She wanted to let us know that she had spoken with Mr. York and presented information about her family. In turn, Mr. York shared a little more information about Kirsta, and Mrs. Belcher quickly realized her family wasn't an appropriate match for Kirsta. Mrs. Belcher said, "I wish I had known this two months ago! But, at least I can go back to my family now and tell them why this placement wasn't in the child's – or their – best interests."

Kirsta was removed from the MARE book a month later, after being matched with an older couple who lived on a rural horse farm. They had two children older than Kirsta, and one that was two years younger. Mr. York commented that he initially believerd the family would not have been the best placement for Kirsta. After talking with the family's worker at length, however, he realized they had a strong support system and were experienced in dealing with the types of behaviors Kirsta might exhibit. "They might not have appeared to have been the 'perfect' family," said Mr. York, "but after talking with their worker and gathering more information, they are definately the right family to meet Kirsta's needs."