by Steve York

Once upon a time Goldilocks, a friendly adoption professional, was looking through the MARE photolisting book in her office. As she browsed the pages she began reading the stories of some of the hundreds of children in Michigan waiting to be adopted. "This story is too positive," she mused. "They're 'sugar-coating' a child who has real problems." Reading on she complained, "This story is too negative. They're short-changing the child's abilities and scaring away potential families." Undaunted, she continued reading. "This story is just right. I don't know how they did it, but they really captured that child's personality and spirit in this story."

I hadn't thought about the Goldilocks fairy tale in years, but it came to mind as a good way to illustrate the variety of responses the MARE office receives regarding the presentation of children in the MARE book. Adoption workers, administrators, even adoptive families hold a wide variety of opinions about the MARE book. As managing editor of the monthly photolisting book, I thought it might be helpful to discuss how and why the stories are written as they are while giving an overview of the book production process.

The guiding principle for all of our recruitment efforts (including the photolisting book) is stated in the Standards for Adoption Exchanges developed and published in 1985 by the Adoption Exchange Association. It reads as follows: "Information on featured children should be accurate, personalized, protective of the children's privacy and based on respect for the child." With that in mind, let's look specifically at the MARE book.

The Purpose of the MARE Story

First, it may be helpful to have a clear understanding of the role of the MARE story. The MARE story is not intended to be a full-length evaluation of the child on which any final decisions are made. Rather, the purpose of the MARE story is to provide a brief introductory "snap shot" of the child to other adoption professionals and potential adoptive parents. Using the narrative and photo, the worker and/or family can decide if they wish to contact the child's worker for additional information.

How MARE Stories Are Written

Photolisting stories are written from information provided on the blue MARE Child Entry Form. The information on this form comes from the child's worker and/or therapists, teachers, foster care providers and any other persons involved in caring for the child. The form must be signed by a representative from the agency responsible for registering the child with MARE.

There are individual sections on the form which ask about a child's positive characteristics, interests, and talents; dislikes, limits, and behavioral concerns; academic functioning, placement history, and any special considerations to be given in placement (i.e. siblings, single-parent, two-parent). It is imperative that workers provide adequate information in each category to help us present a well-rounded description of the child. It is not uncommon for us to receive a form that says simply "Bobby is an outgoing child who likes to smile," with no other written information. It is impossible to write accurate descriptions of children without adequate information.

Equally frustrating is receiving a Child Entry Form filled with nothing but negative descriptions. In both instances, a great disservice is done to the children by not providing a total picture. Workers need not feel intimidated by writing descriptions of their children. It is not necessary for a worker to provide a polished, ready-to-print narrative description. While some workers do provide such narratives, (and they are greatly appreciated), a Child Entry Form with short "bullets" in each section is just as helpful. Bullets are simply short descriptions. If there are four to six of these bullets in each section, a solid narrative can be written at MARE. For example:
attractive
helpful
good appetite
likes sports
loves hamburgers, and
enjoys swimming,

can translate to:

Jack is an attractive child who likes to help around the house. He has a healthy appetite and can't resist hamburgers. Jack is active and enjoys all kinds of sports. One of his favorite activities is swimming.

The "negative" information in the story is based on two guidelines. The first is found in the AEA's Standards for Adoption Exchanges and states: "To protect the child's confidentiality and agencies' and exchanges' liability, the child's description should not contain the child's last name nor information on incest, abuse, sexual activity, or other details relating to reasons for removal from previous caretakers." The second guideline, based on respect for the child, is more subjective in nature. We simply ask ourselves "How would I feel if that were my description being published? Would I feel ashamed, threatened, or embarrassed?"

Though a story may not specifically state that a child has been physically or sexually abused or is a perpetrator of abuse, we try to include "red flags" that can alert workers and families to the possibility of these issues. Phrases such as "has suffered a traumatic past," "needs supervision around children, animals, members of the opposite sex, etc.," and "should be the youngest child in the home," are all intended to alert workers and families that there may be abuse issues involved. This information may have been included on the Child Entry Form, but it is the decision of the child's worker when and to whom such information is revealed. MARE wants to publish stories that accurately represent the children listed in the book. We will always welcome and encourage any comments or suggestions from a child's worker on how to improve his/her story.

Other Comments We Hear About the MARE Book

1. The MARE Book is not accurate. Mostly this refers to the "Active" "Non-Active" and "Child Visiting Approved Adoptive Family" status codes. Once each month MARE case managers attempt to contact every worker (or supervisor) for the children listed in the book for an update on a child's status. The "NA" (clear) logo under the child's photo means that no family has expressed interest in that child. The "A" (dark) logo means that a family (or families) expressed interest. The family may or may not be studied and approved. The "Child Visiting Approved Adoptive Family" is self-explanatory. During what we call our monthly "call-backs," workers tell us the status of their children in the book. Often MARE staff are unable to reach a child's worker, or calls are not returned in time before the book goes to the printing company. There is also the possibility that a child's status may change one or two days after a worker has talked to their MARE case manager. The printing company needs to have the pages in their hands by the first of the month in order to deliver the final product to our office by the 15th of the month. Once the pages of the book are out of MARE's possession it is impossible to make any changes, thus making the book inaccurate. It is a frustration shared by everyone who uses the MARE book - including the MARE staff! As of now, we don't have the capability of producing a MARE book with up-to-the-minute accuracy. We are working toward some day putting the MARE Book "on-line" allowing immediate updating capabilities, but for now, we must live with the limitations we have.
2. The photos and stories are outdated. It is true that some photos and stories are originals from several years ago. Despite sporadic requests for updated information, we had limited success. We now have an automated process in our powerful database that generates letters asking for photo updates on a yearly basis, and updated story information every six months. The letters will continue to be generated monthly until we receive the requested information. Letters were first mailed out in July and so far, the results have been encouraging. Thanks to all who have responded!

Ultimately the MARE Book will only be as good as the information and photos we receive. On behalf of the staff at MARE, I would like to thank those workers who consistently submit complete, thoughtful Child Entry Forms and clear, well-lighted photos. We encourage all workers to strive to do the same. Our waiting children deserve that much.