November/December, 1999

Sibling Ties are Worth Preserving

by Diane Riggs
Reprinted with permission from “Adoptalk,” Spring 1999 (North American Council on Adoptable Children)

“I relaxed,” said one foster child when asked what he did after finding out that he was to be placed for adoption with his older brothers. Yes, sibling interaction is often spiced with conflict. Yes, competition between siblings can be intense. But through the years, no bond is typically longer, stronger, or more comforting than that between siblings - especially those who are separated from other birth family members through foster care or adoption. Fortunately, child welfare professionals and legislators are becoming increasingly sensitive to sibling issues and are finding ways to keep siblings together and connected.

Background

“It seems so obvious,” said Cindy Deal, executive director of Northeast Ohio Adoption Services (NOAS) when asked why child welfare professionals should work to keep siblings connected. “They belong together.” NOAS recently received federal funding to support efforts to reunite sibling groups and recruit families for siblings.

For children who enter foster care, Deal explains, separation from birth parents is traumatic, and separation from siblings who share a common history is a devastating, ultimately isolating loss. As an adoptive mother of three siblings wrote in a letter to NOAS:

“My children had nothing left but each other . . . [and] had formed a bond with each other. This bond was a great deal closer than most kids because they needed each other to survive . . . My children have an appreciation of each other most siblings don’t form until later in life. They have learned to love and trust each other. They accept their differences. They celebrate in each other’s victories. Taking away the only people they trust is devastating and does nothing more than increase their distrust of everyone else.”

Separated siblings are robbed of future family connections as well; they may never know their nieces and nephews, and their children will miss out on knowing aunts and uncles. Regina Kupecky, a therapist at the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio and co-author of Adopting the Hurt Child, adds that separated siblings lose pieces of themselves when they lose touch, and consequently have a harder time building an identity. A sibling who is adopted when his or her brothers and sisters remain in foster care may also experience guilt - a feeling that he or she has abandoned the other siblings - compounded with a sense of having been abandoned by his or her birth parents. Separated siblings experience loss upon loss.

Keeping Siblings Together

Since the 1980’s, researchers have focused increasing attention on the importance of sibling ties. Siblings who are placed together have been known to transition more smoothly into new homes, and most researchers agree that attachments between siblings are critically important. In recent years, many states have taken action to help siblings stay together.

The following are some suggestions of what states and workers are doing to keep brothers and sisters from being separated:

1. Legislation, policy, and special programs

As reported in a New York Times article last summer, at least 10 states have programs, laws, or policies that promote sibling placements. In Chicago, a new sibling program run by the Jane Addams Hull House Association pays foster parents an annual salary of $16,000 plus benefits (in addition to the state’s monthly payment per child) when they assume care for a group of siblings. In New York City, a program started in 1997 offers foster parents rent-free housing plus extra money and benefits for taking in sibling groups. Kentucky also offers a financial incentive to foster families who care for siblings, and a pilot program in Florida is trying to find foster placements for siblings using a model similar to Chicago’s Hull House program.

Other states have legislated policy changes and set public agency goals to help siblings stay together. California, Ohio, Massachusetts, and New York all have laws that allow foster parents to exceed the six-child limit if the move keeps brothers and sisters together. New Jersey has begun a campaign to recruit foster parents for sibling groups, and both Minnesota and Alabama recently began requiring that siblings be placed together whenever possible.

When Kansas privatized its child welfare system in 1996, the state set a series of contract standards for its foster care and adoption providers. One standard says that 65 percent of children with siblings should be placed with a sibling while in foster care. Kansas’ adoption provider was charged with meeting a similar goal of placing siblings together in adoptive homes. [Editor’s note: In the state of Michigan in Fiscal Year 1998, of the 1,542 children placed for adoption who were part of a sibling group, nearly 45% were placed with all of their siblings, while 34% were placed with at least some of their siblings. 21% were placed with none of their siblings.]

2. Mind Set.

NOAS director Cindy Deal says that if she had her way, review hearing judges would need cause to determine why brothers and sisters should be separated, not why they should stay together. The adoption program director in Kansas shares that philosophy. In Kansas, the program director reviews every request to split siblings in adoptive placements. Working in consultation with other experts, she approves splits only when faced with extenuating circumstances.

Siblings can be placed together in adoptive homes. Though siblings may be split up in foster care (due to the finite number of foster homes and beds), workers and administrators should never underestimate adoptive families’ willingness to preserve sibling ties and assume care for multiple children. As one adoption professional put it, “workers need to get out of the foster care mind set.”

3. Marketing

To attract families for siblings, agencies need to let families know that groups are available. Whenever possible, photos used for recruiting purposes - in newspaper features, photolisting books, and the Internet - should include all of the available siblings in the same shot. Accompanying descriptions should state that the siblings must be placed together, and suggest how the siblings interact with and care about one another. On Kansas’ Internet photolisting (www.kffk.org), each sibling’s profile page contains a list of other siblings with links to their pages, as well as a starred statement that the siblings are being placed as a group.

4. Tracking and follow-up

Because siblings may come into care and become available for adoption at different times, agencies who wish to preserve sibling ties must find ways to track the location and status of brothers and sisters. As many workers know, the family who adopts one sibling is often more than willing to adopt others who subsequently become available.

5. Financial incentives

Some adoption agencies have also realized the economic benefits of recruiting families who will adopt more than one child. The cost - in time and money - that an agency must expend to find one family for three children, for example, may be much less than the costs for finding three separate families. Families who adopt sibling groups (and who were planning to adopt more than one child) may save themselves the financial and emotional strain of going through the adoption process multiple times.

In next month’s issue of Recruitment News, part II of the article will focus on “Keeping Siblings Connected.”

MEPA Grievance Procedures

The September/October issue of Recruitment News focused on Federal legislation that aims to remove barriers to timely adoptive placements. The Multiethnic Placement Act of 1994 as amended by the Interethnic Adoption Provisions of the Small Business Job Protection Act of 1996 (MEPA) and Title IV of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, prohibits discrimination in foster care and adoptive placements on the grounds of race, color, or national origin. Non-compliance of MEPA is deemed a violation of Title VI and could result in the loss of Federal funding to the State and individual agencies.

Any foster care or adoptive applicant or approved foster care/adoptive parent who has reason to believe that he/she has been denied or delayed the placement of a child because of race, color, or national origin, may file a grievance using the following procedures:

  1. Any grievance must be in writing, contain the name, address, and phone numbers of the person filing it, and briefly describe the nature of the complaint and the circumstances of the alleged discrimination.
  2. A grievance must be filed within ten working days of the occurrance of the alleged act of discrimination. This requirement may be waived if extenuating circumstances exist which justify an extension.
  3. The written grievance must be filed with the Adoption Program Office at the Michigan Family Independence Agency (MFIA), PO Box 30037, Lansing, MI 48909. The agency director of the local agency which is alleged to have violated MEPA will receive a copy of the grievance.
  4. An informal conference will be held to review the facts of the allegation, by the Adoption Program manager or designee, within ten working days of receipt of the written complaint. An extension of the time limits may be granted if agreed upon by both parties. The complainant shall be notified in writing of the location, date, and time of the conference. Complainants who are unable to attend a conference in person due to their location must be offered a teleconference.
  5. The Adoption Program manager or designee will informally review the facts of the complainant and notify the complainant of conclusions in writing within ten working days of the conference/teleconference.
  6. The complainant may appeal the decision of the agency. The appeal must be in writing and sent to the Office of Affirmative Action at the Michigan Family Independence Agency, located at PO Box 30037, Lansing, MI 48909, within ten days of the receipt of the decision.
  7. The Office of Affirmative Action will investigate the complaint and may convene a meet ing with the complainant. The Office of Affirmative Action will issue a written answer with in ten days. An extension of the time limits may be granted if agreed upon by both parties.

This procedure does not impair the right of an individual to file a complaint with the Office for Civil Rights, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, or the Michigan Department of Civil Rights.

MARE Library Adds Resources

The MARE Lending Library has recently added some new resources that are available to adoption professionals and the general public. To access these and other resources, contact Beverly Belcher of MARE at (517) 783-6273.

Struggle For Identity - Issues in Transracial Adoption - a presentation of the New York State Citizen’s Coalition for Children, Inc., ©1998. This powerful 20-minute video explores the feelings and real-life experiences of transracial families created through adoption. In their own words the adoptees and their parents share the realities of transracial adoption. This video is a “must” for adoptive and foster parents and the professionals who work with them.

Adopting The Hurt Child - Hope for Families with Special Needs Kids, Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D. & Regina M. Kupecky, LSW, ©1995, 229 pages. Written in a non-technical style, this valuable book brings to light grim truths, but also real hope that children who have been hurt by others can be healed and brought back to life by adoptive/foster families, therapists, teachers, social workers, and others whose lives intersect with theirs.Recruitment

Recruitment Opportunity

I n January 2000, talk show host Maury Povich will again be featuring children on his program who need to be adopted. Last year, 29 waiting children from throughout the United States went to New York to tell viewers about their wish to be part of a permanent family. More than 16,000 viewers responded by contacting the National Adoption Center or downloading information about the adoption process from FACES of Adoption - the website of the National Adoption Center.

The National Adoption Center is once again looking for children to appear on the Maury Povich show in January, 2000. The children need to be able to articulate their wish for a family. They will be first be interviewed by National Adoption Center staff and staff from the Maury show prior to selection. The show’s producers make the final decision on the children selected to appear.

If you have children whom you think would do well with this kind of recruitment, contact Ann Huston of the National Adoption Center, at (215) 735-9988, ext. 342.