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| July/August, 2001 |
Peng
Returns!
"Me, Myself and I" Lifebook Now Available
He’s Baaaack! The return of the loveable “Peng” can mean only one thing: MARE has just had printed a fresh supply of the Lifebook “Me, Myself, & I.” The Lifebooks are available now - at no cost - to adoption agencies throughout Michigan.
On page three of this issue of Recruitment News, we feature an article about the importance of using lifebooks with children in the child welfare system. “Me, Myself, and I” provides a wonderful opportunity for agencies and workers to encourage the use of Lifebooks by adoption/foster care staff and the children in their care.
We hope agencies will take advantage of this free and valuable resource by ordering and distributing these Lifebooks.
Order forms were mailed to adoption supervisors in mid-June. A maximum of 50 books per agency may be ordered at this time. Once all initial orders have been filled, any remaining Lifebooks will be distributed on a first come - first served basis.
Foster children so often have that sense of missing pieces. I should know. I spent my first 5 months in foster care, before being adopted.
Information is gold to any child separated from their biological family. Every tiny piece is precious, whether it’s a photo or quote from a child’s first foster parent. LifeBooks help put all the pieces together in a way that helps a child make sense and ultimately feel good about his or her history.
“…My second foster family reported that I used to make these funny lip smacking sounds as a baby…and that the entire family would watch and laugh. This is one of my favorite pieces of information, discovered in my foster care notes…” (Beth O’Malley)
This story never appeared in any LifeBook. Instead, my foster parents took the time to share it with my social worker. She found the time to write it in her case notes. The adoption agency then managed to hold onto my case record for 35 years. And the post adoption social worker thought I might find the anecdote amusing.
Talk about teamwork. I’m grateful that every person followed through, giving me this “baby picture” in words that I carry in my heart today.
I’m convinced that my entire life would have been different if I had been given a LifeBook. The absence of information on my birth family meant I had nothing with which to connect with my history. A blank screen. A feeling of floating, or that numb sensation that so many foster children later describe.
“…LifeBooks remain important to my children…They show that their biological connections are still important…They will never be forgotten…” (Michelle Braxton, single foster/adoptive mother of seven)
Imagine what would be important to you 10 or 20 years later in life. Including school papers, awards, copies of report cards, the birth certificate, locks of baby hair, baby teeth, and mementos increases a LifeBook’s value. These volumes will fill in gaps, with words, art work, and photos, if available. Your words can create pictures if none are available.
Speaking of pictures, can you imagine going through life without ever knowing what your mother or father looked like? Foster parents often have the unique opportunity to get photos of birth parents. Foster mother Sandy Parker shared the following story:
“…I took three-year-old David for a visit with his birth mother while she was incarcerated. They didn’t allow cameras inside the facility. Shortly thereafter she was released, overdosed, and died. So I learned a lesson. At the next visit with a different child I took pictures…His birth mother also died abruptly, but Sam will know what she looked like!”
One foster parent recently lamented that with five foster children, one being medically involved, coupled with caring for an aging parent and her 150-pound dog, she didn’t always have the time to complete her children’s LifeBooks. It is a tall order.
A team approach to LifeBooks may be the wave of the future. If foster parents can capture a few pages of the child’s life, perhaps grabbing a picture of the birth family (regardless of the goal), then the LifeBook has begun. Social workers and/or therapists can add in additional information. Don’t forget the birth certificate, which children in foster situations love at any age.
Here are a few suggestions from Dr. Vera Fahlberg, national adoption expert:
At the age of six, I decided that my birth parents had died in a plane crash in Africa. I didn’t tell a soul. Then I changed the story…but it was still one that featured death. Children with histories of abuse and neglect usually take it further. They somehow believe that they are responsible for being separated from their birth families. This separation was, as one little boy supposed, “because I was bad?” It’s the power of magical thinking.
Remember the children’s rhyme, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back”? Children believe that they are the center of the universe and so very powerful. Maybe they were moved because they wet the bed that night…the damaging speculation is endless.
LifeBooks help reduce magical thinking and fantasy. This frees up a foster child to pay better attention in school or be more available to focus on developing painting skills or playing soccer.
LifeBooks help answer questions, increase self-esteem, and teach children the truth. They are the ultimate teaching tool.
LifeBook facts become “memory pegs,” says Mimi Robins, originator of LifeBooks in Massachusetts. If children are given the basics, the essentials, then hours of therapy later in life can be saved.
Children need to feel proud of their strengths and those of their birth parents. A LifeBook page on birth parents really helps in those tough adolescent years when identity issues begin to peak. Foster care periods are often the only time when birth parents are usually available to answer questions and discuss talents and hobbies.
Another foster parent advantage is that you can create beautiful LifeBook pages in a very short time. You don’t have to do an entire book if other commitments call. Grab a few pieces of nice paper, a couple of pictures, and a handful of markers, and in ten minutes you’re done. Nothing fancy, yet it will feel like a treasure to that child.
If you’re a scrapbooker, you already create beautiful albums. Add lots of journaling and some “warm, fuzzy” facts about the little things that a child enjoyed in your home. However, don’t get caught up in creating the “perfect” LifeBook. After all, the only real mistake you can make is not to begin one.
The ultimate magic to creating a treasured LifeBook is to start it, work on it with a child, and give it to him or her, or to the social worker, when the child moves on. (Making pages with a child is really the best way to do a LifeBook—it promotes attachment, builds trust, and can be so much fun.) Even if it only has five pages, it is tangible proof to that child that s/he is precious enough to deserve this treasure.
Beth O’Malley, M.Ed. is former foster baby, adoption worker, and the author of LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child and My Foster Care Journey (now available in Spanish): 1-800-469-9666, www.adoptionlifebooks.com, or lifebooks@earthlink.net.
The May/June issue of Recruitment News, contained Adoption Finalization statistics for the state of Michigan for Fiscal Year 2000. It should be noted that 80% of all finalized adoptions were for children who were placed with at least one sibling - not 55% as was published. Of the 1,912 children in foster care with siblings, 1,537 (or 80%) were placed for adoption with at least one sibling.
Source: Michigan Family Independence Agency
The Child Welfare Institute (CWI), a division within the Child & Family Services Administration of the Michigan Family Independence Agency, provides an eight-week training program for new Family Independence Agency (FIA) or contract agency staff, as well as training and educational opportunities for professional development for experienced staff. Training and education is available in the areas of Prevention, Children’s Protective Services, Foster Care, Adoption, and Juvenile Justice. The Institute provides a significant opportunity to enhance competence in child welfare services.
Participation in the eight week Institute is mandatory for all newly hired child welfare staff and supervisors. FIA staff may not be assigned a caseload until after they have completed the entire eight weeks of training. Private agency staff are required to participate in the training within the first six months on the job.
The goal of the Child Welfare Institute is to assure protection and permanency for children through a comprehensive, competency based training program available to all public and contracted private agency child welfare staff responsible for delivering child welfare services in Michigan.
The following training classes should be of particular interest to adoption professionals:
Solution Focused Interviewing (CI 107) -is the mandatory prerequisite for all other CWI training classes. Participants must fulfill this requirement before attending any other training classes. The Solution Focused Interviewing training is a two and one-half day program for child welfare staff with Solution Focused Interviewing skills needed to assist clients/customers in the Child Welfare System. Questioning techniques are used to discover and explore the resources and strengths a client already has in order to assure child safety and successful resolution of issues that brought the family to the attention of the Child Welfare system.
Adoption (CI 205) is a five-day program is designed to provide the skills and knowledge needed to implement policies and procedures of the Adoption program. Participants will learn how to develop strategies for the recruitment and orientation of adoptive families; be given assessment techniques for studying applications; and will practice formulating home studies and recommendations. Assessment of the child and the adoptive evaluation will be learned through application and exercises. Criteria for selection of a family for a specific child will be presented through practical applications. Skills needed to facilitate placement will be built through problem solving and simulation exercises. Participants will learn about the subsidy program, including certification and implementation, and the policy pertaining to the adoption program. Participants will also receive a copy of the current FIA Policy Manual.
Adoption Legal Issues (CI 311) - is a one-day training program for all Adoption staff that is designed to provide the skills and knowledge needed to understand the legal process and Department requirements for all adoption cases. Content includes an overview of the historical context of adoption proceedings, the different types of adoptions provided by law, the specific roles of the Department worker, as well as the role of the court and staff in relation to the adoption process. At the conclusion of this training the participants will:
For a schedule of classes and more information, call the Child Wlfare Training
Institute at (517) 335-6216,
or visit them on the web at: http://www.mfia.state.us/CFSAdmin/cwi/training.html