Recruitment News
June, 2003
Preparing Children and Families for Recruitment Events
by Jennifer Adler
Children who are available for adoption have been through numerous changes
and adjustments in their young lives. Just as children should have (hopefully)
been prepared for their initial placement into foster care and the various
moves they may have made while in foster care, they should also be prepared
for adoption. This means that not only should the child understand that
their parent’s rights have been terminated, they should also understand
that they are available for adoption and that the adoption agency or worker
may be recruiting families who are interested in adopting.
This may seem to be a fairly obvious point; however, we have met children
at various recruitment events who were not even aware that they were available
for adoption. It is also not uncommon for a child at a MARE-sponsored
photo/video shoot to ask “Why am I here?” or “Why are
we doing this?”
First and foremost, children should be made aware that they are available
for adoption. A discussion with children about the termination of their
parent’s rights is essential in helping them understand adoption.
It is the job of the social worker to help children make the various transitions
between living with their birth family, foster family, and adoptive family.
While some children may not understand the multitude of issues involved
with adoption, most (if not all) children are able to understand what
it means to be separated from their birth parents. Children should be
given time to discuss their feelings and to ask questions pertaining to
termination. It should also be explained to children that the adoption
agency is working to find a loving family to adopt them, and that some
of the ways the agency is looking for families is through the MARE Book,
recruitment events, and newspaper columns, just to name a few.
Regardless of the method of recruitment, agencies must respect children
enough to explain what recruitment methods are being used and why. If
the child is being listed in the MARE book, explain what the MARE book
is and show an example. If you have scheduled a time for a child to attend
a photo / video shoot sponsored by MARE, explain what is happening well
ahead of time so that there will be no surprises or awkward moments when
the child arrives.
When it comes to children attending recruitment events (such as the
Kinship Adoption Festival, bowling parties, ball games, etc.,) children
should be made aware that they are attending an event in which families
who are interested in adopting will also be participating. Children should
not be forced to participate in an activity if they do not feel comfortable,
and they definitely should not be forced to attend the event itself.
Workers can help alleviate anxiety and nervousness on the part of the
children by helping them to think of the event as a fun day away from
their everyday routine. They should know that there will be other children
in similar situations at the event with whom they can talk and play. It
is also important to reassure children that they do not have to answer
any questions that make them feel uncomfortable. While children should
be prepared for the recruitment event well ahead of time, travel time
to and from the event is a great opportunity to discuss the experience
with the child. If a potential match does not happen at the event, children
should be reassured that the event is only one of many recruitment efforts
that the agency will be making on their behalf.
Good communication between all parties involved (the child, adoption worker,
foster family, residential staff, etc.) is critical in helping children
understand and participate in recruitment events while also preserving
their dignity and self esteem.
Preparing Families
Just as children should be thoroughly prepared for recruitment events,
it is important that the families who attend these events are prepared
as well. Above all else families should be reminded that recruitment events
are intended to provide a fun and non-threatening recreational environment
with the hope that an initial connection might be made which could some
day lead to adoption. Families should be encouraged to observe the following
guidelines:
- Keep the conversation light. It is not appropriate to ask about past
histories, the child’s experience in foster care, or even to discuss
adoption at this point. Families should also not ask children for their
last names due to confidentiality concerns.
- Do not make promises to the children. Families should never tell
a child that they meet at a recruitment event that they are going to
adopt them or even that they will call the child’s adoption worker
to set up a meeting.
- Interact with the children; do not simply observe them. Get involved
in the activities. Families should try to meet and talk to as many children
as possible, even if they are not interested in adopting a particular
child. It is important to not monopolize one child so that other families
have the opportunity to interact with all of the children as well. Families
should also attempt to engage those children who may appear to be withdrawn
- Families should remember that attending the event may be awkward
for the child and that the child’s behavior at the event may not
be indicative of their normal behavior.
The final important step in preparing families for recruitment events
is to remind them that these children are not simply defined by a label
or a brief description in the MARE book. Rather, these children are real
people who need and deserve a loving and supportive family in which to
grow.
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